Marriage Traditions of Middle-Earth

The most important aspect of marriage in Middle-Earth is to remember we must separate what we as players know from our real life modern world to that which is canon for Shadows of Isildur.

Modern ideas such as dress rehearsals or receptions and weddings with large numbers of groomsmen or bridesmaids are not something that would occur for your average common-born person (IE the majority of PCs.) Rings are not a given symbol of marriage across all in-game cultures. Thus the presence of absence of a ring is not a guarantee someone you are eyeing is not indeed, married. Expensive gifts brought to the married couple are also not a given expectation for people of common standing.

Marriages in Middle-Earth are about surviving as a people and as the race of Men. The  legal definition of marriage is generally inherent to the laws shared in common by Men across Middle-Earth. It isn’t primarily an arrangement about love  - but about legal rights, property, and inheritance. And is such handled with great care by families, and uncommonly directly by the would-be couple but rather via a proxy.  This occurs in villages as common as Utterby (one can read such in the betrothal negotiations of Master Gararic to his Amandine via her brother, Bov) and as grand as Dol Amroth.

A dowry then, is not always for women, sometimes it is for men, and speaks of either party's investment towards the union of marrying into a family of their caste that may be stronger, more wealthy, with more political clout, etc. Your dowry is basically buying you (and by connection your family) buying your way into a family with a potentially better future or stronger past than your own.

For people in any community of Men, a wedding (save one done in shame and secret) means a time for food, friendship, and frivolity, though the expanse of what that means will be directly tied to the pouches and pockets of the couple (and families) in question.

This document will assist you in your endeavors of understanding Middle-Earth marriage. Please note that unless your character should know the information below based on their race, culture or background you should not be using it otherwise.

WHAT DOES MARRIAGE MEAN?

• Marriage is the legal union between one man and one woman. While the traditions of the union ceremony itself vary by culture and in some areas by caste, the foundation remains the same: legalities. These legalities are stipulated by gender, caste, and in some cases by race. There is no existence of divorce in Middle-Earth. So do keep in mind you marry for life and if your spouse's player stops playing, that does not mean they are automatically 'dead'.

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE?

• The benefits of marriage are generally: production of legitimate and legal heirs, union of families and blood-lines, financial support and for the authorities - the proper collections of mortgages, fees, and taxes.

• If your spouse has a License and a shop - you can work for or with them but you have zero access to the License and if you are selling under said License without the legal-okay for it you risk excessive fines and potentially the loss of your spouse's License.

• If your spouse has a License and so do you and they pass away - you cannot profit from, run, hire, or do anything with the License of the deceased, you can sell the License and shop or stall as is back to the Artisan Union for a lump sum of their choosing. If you are caught profiting, using, etc. the other's License and/or shop/stall there are excessive fines and high risk of losing your License and/or shop/stall.

• If you pass away and leave your License and/or shop/stall that does not automatically guarantee your spouse will inherit. You may have Apprentices. You need to arrange with City Hall who inherits should you die. Without this - no one inherits. Please read the Inheritance Documentation.

• If you and your partner are not legally bound by a marriage contract there is no such thing as Common Law in Middle-Earth - they will have zero access to anything.

• The legalities of heirs vary between cultures and races. The general consensus is that children born in a marriage are legitimate. Children born outside of a legal marriage are base-born (AKA bastards) and are generally looked down upon by society.

WHO CAN MARRY?

• To acquire a marriage in Middle-Earth you must be of the same race (human to human, elf to elf, dwarf to dwarf, hobbit to hobbit), opposing genders and of adult years. You are not Arwen and Aragorn to have the finances and political backing (he is the King after all) to do what you want. Nor are you a made-up banished she-elf canoodling with a really adorable Kili-named Dwarf. Interracial marriages are not socially accepted or normal, they are exceedingly rare in canon (and usually with dire consequences for one or both parties) and as such will be treated so for the game.

• It should be noted that there can and will be societal looks and potential questions in regards to marrying beyond your culture. In some cultures the concept of marrying means to be bringing someone into the fold of your kin and family, into your blood. To marry beneath you, to marry in a different or opposing culture can have some societal problems and consequences. There have been instances in history where for the love of a man or woman, said man or woman could not return to their homeland due to their union with someone not of their people. Marrying beneath your caste/station will greatly increase the risk of societal and familial consequences in your life.

HOW CAN WE MARRY?

• To marry both parties must be present and would go to City Hall and sign a marriage contract that is legally binding. In the absence of City Hall, such as if you are living in an isolated area, both parties can approach a Litigant whom can submit a contract to the most local of City Halls to be signed and filed. If you do in fact use a Litigant, you will need to wait an IC year before the contact is delivered to City Hall and an acceptance has been returned to the Litigant. You will not be legally married until this acceptance from City Hall has been returned.

• In many cultures this legal requirement is preceded by a public marriage ceremony which fulfills cultural or religious requirements of both parties entering into the marriage of their own free will and mind. Vows will usually be exchanged between the bride and groom as dictated by their culture, class, and personal conviction. The public ceremony is also a time for those with wealth and power to flaunt their status by what is worn, what is eaten, and who is invited.

THE STAGES OF MARRIAGE:

• WHEN FAMILY IS PRESENT

• NEGOTIATING - As with any legal suit or bill of sale, the head of the family (which varied by culture and race) will meet with the head of the potential spouse's family and negotiate the potential marriage.

• COURTING - Only when approved by both family heads may courting commence. Courting is, generally, a season or two long pursuit where the two get to know one another. They are always chaperoned and to be alone together would be to court indecency. In many cultures, touching before betrothal is also quite indecent while in others, holding of hands is acceptable but more than that broaches inappropriate.

• BETROTHAL - After the courting has proven acceptable by the families and two parties involved, a year long betrothal commences where the pair are continued to be chaperoned but may hold hands and share chaste kisses but little else. It is common in Rhovanion that Betrothed men and women wear a blue ribbon, though another charm of promise might be used by the couple to symbolize their pledge to be married.

• MARRIAGE CEREMONY - After the year's betrothal the marriage ceremony is held. This varies by culture and race and more information can be had below.

• WHEN FAMILY IS NOT PRESENT

• NEGOTIATING - As with any legal suit or bill of sale, the pair to be married, as no family head is present, will discuss what the marriage would entail and what, if any, dowry is present on either side of said marriage. For those who have money or property before a marriage, negotiating might be handled through a litigant so all legalities are properly considered.

• COURTING - Some choose to court before negotiations are made and some prefer to do it after negotiating to ensure that both parties are on the same page. Courting consists of chaperoned visits with one another as pre-marital intimacies are socially frowned upon. Holding of hands are publicly accepted signs of courting status. Courting can be a lengthy endeavor but never shorter than a season (three months).

• BETROTHAL - After the pair have courted for a time and negotiations are made and agreed upon the year-long betrothal may commence. In this time the pair are expected to establish their certainty in proceeding towards their marriage for there is no end but death to the union once contracts are signed. Chaperoned visits are the normal and chaste kisses may be shared in public but anything more would broach indecency. It is common in Rhovanion that Betrothed men and women wear a blue ribbon, though another charm of promise might be used by the couple to symbolize their pledge to be married..

• MARRIAGE CEREMONY - After the year's betrothal the marriage ceremony is held. This varies by culture and race and more information can be had below.

• MARRIAGE TRADITIONS AND CEREMONIES:

• HUMAN

• Region - Rhovanion

  • Beorning

    • CEREMONY: Heads of either family give braided heather crowns to their kin to whom is marrying and the pair wear these during a gift-giving ceremony. The giving of these particular gifts to each other is the symbol of their union and can either be done privately or with their families. Like all grand ceremonies and celebrations of the Beornings, it is usually a time of great feasting.
    • Amongst their own people litigants and other finer legalities of other Men are usually not a part of their lives and indeed, the laws of outsiders might tend to confuse them. Amongst their people, the Chieftain’s acceptance of a Union makes it legally valid.  With the importance of trade with their fine products and their note as hard workers and fierce warriors, City Halls where they live tend to assist in understanding the requirement of legal documents.
    • SYMBOL: To signify the marriage a Beorning man will give unto the woman a special fur or pelt cloak or wood-carved tool made by himself to demonstrate his protection and ability to support  their futures. The woman will give unto the man a special jar of honey or a prized tunic to demonstrate her support and care in their futures. These tokens are usually kept safe and not carried in public.

  • Native Rhovanion

    • CEREMONY:  Once the Acceptance has been sent from City Hall or once the Contracts are signed at the litigant’s office - the marriage is in effect and this is the most common of ceremonies to be had as Rhovanions are a pragmatic sort, modest and simple. It is common that during signings or the reading of the Acceptance, both which confirm the legitimacy of the union, that both man and woman wear blue. The act of getting married is usually a private, inter-family ordeal because marriages affect both sides of the union.

    • After the private ceremony takes place there is likely to be some public aspect, even if just a gathering at the local tavern as a bit of cheer is always welcome in Rhovanion against the stark reminder that is Mirkwood and all that it entails.

    • SYMBOL: To signify the marriage a Rhovanion man and woman will give each other a token which varies between regions of Rhovanion. The most notable is an embroidered kerchief with a close second of being a candle that is either never lit, lit only during the first night, lit only during the first hour of their children's birth, lit only upon either spouse's death, or lit only when attempting to produce a child. Superstitions and traditions with candle-lighting vary but the general idea is to be sparse for it is a symbol. These tokens are kept someplace safe and rarely ever worn or carried in public.

• Dorwinion - Lower Class and Gypsies

• • The lower class of Dorwinion, the gypsies and the vineyard hands rarely have extensive (if really any) tangible property in order to have complex negotiations over them. Instead, negotiations between the Ma and Da of two families will discuss the skills and qualities a potential match would bring to the two families.

  • CEREMONY: The traditional set-up for a wedding ceremony is an archway traditionally decorated with sayings of good luck or small coins for the couple. Both the bride and groom wear crowns of vetiver.  Following the exchanging of vows overseen by the Ma and Da of both families, the couple drinks from a shared wineglass which is kept afterwards amongst their small personal belongings.

  • Gypsies tend to be hesitant to involve the law in their affairs, as they see family law handed down by the Ma or Da as the ultimate authority. As such, even by all understandings of culture and acceptance within their family as married, when living amongst their own kin, few will go to a litigant or to a larger town to formalize the paperwork.

  • SYMBOL: To signify the marriage a Dorwinion man and woman will give each other a charm to symbolize their union which is kept private and is not worn or carried in public and varies based on region. It is part of Dorwinion culture that a common-born woman, once married, wears a red scarf and unmarried women do not. This scarf is either worn on head, hip, around the neck, or in one's hair. To wear such before marriage is a way to ward off advances though is said to welcome ill-wrought fortune in one's romantic affairs.

• Dorwinion - Middle Class

• • CEREMONY: Once Acceptance has been sent from City Hall or once the Contracts are signed at City Hall - the marriage is in effect. It is common that during signings or the reading of the Acceptance, both which confirm the legitimacy of the union, that both man and woman wear yellow. The act of getting married is usually a private, inter-family ordeal because marriages affect both sides of the union.

  • After the private ceremony, there is likely to be some public aspect because any good celebration in Dorwinion calls for drinking wine, and of course, wine tastes better in the company of friends.

  • SYMBOL: To signify the marriage a Dorwinion man and woman will give each other a charm to symbolize their union which is kept private and is not worn or carried in public and varies based on region. It is part of Dorwinion culture that a common-born woman, once married, wears a red scarf and unmarried women do not. This scarf is either worn on head, hip, around the neck, or in one's hair. To wear such before marriage is a way to ward off advances though is said to welcome ill-wrought fortune in one's romantic affairs.

• Dorwinion - Higher Caste

• Kandavan -

• CEREMONY: Once Acceptance has been sent from City Hall or once the Contracts are signed at City Hall - the marriage is in effect for the common-born and common-caste Dorwinion. It is common that during signings or the reading of the Acceptance, both which confirm the legitimacy of the union, that both man and woman wear yellow. Kandavan often marry those of another Dorwinion House, to marry beneath one's caste typically gets them ousted from the family all-together. During the Negotiation Process it is determined if this couple will be marrying into the Kandavan or if the Kandavan are marrying one of their own into another Household. The following is only if the Negotiation called for another of proper caste to be married into the Kandavan. Due to the Kandavan's lavish lifestyle and upper-caste station it is very common and even expected to have some festive to-do that includes both families no matter how distant that cousin might be. There is still no wedding procession or reception, but a festive feast is the norm for them. Each father is expected to make sport of their offered man or woman in the union by way of games during the feast. The most common and most entertaining sport is to 'Pay the Ransom' where the new wife is hidden away and her parents ask for payment from the husband who pays in some fashion and the wife is produced though it rarely is ever the actual wife and is usually another relative trussed up like her and when he asks for his love, he is then asked to pay more. It is intended to be a very comical scene and everyone gets rather involved in the fun of it. Each mother is expected to make sport of their offered man or woman in the union by way of songs and poetry during the feast. This gives both mothers an opportunity to show off their prowess in either skill or money to back the skill of a skilled minstrel or poet.

• SYMBOL: To signify the marriage a Kandavan man or woman will give their spouse a token to demonstrate their union. Kandavan are infamous for showing off in this by giving the best, biggest, most expensive and most rare of tokens though these are, like other tokens, kept safe someplace and very rarely worn, to wear it is to tempt bad luck in its loss. The most typical and traditional token is a crown and the act of giving it to one another during the ceremony with their family is 'crowning'. A married Kandavan will proclaim they're married by wearing upon their left wrist, over the tattooed symbol of House Kandavan a bracelet woven of spidersilk or seasilk, both very rare and exceedingly expensive.

• Godgrim -

• CEREMONY:  Once Acceptance has been sent from City Hall or once the Contracts are signed at City Hall - the marriage is in effect for the upper-caste Dorwinion. It is common that during signings or the reading of the Acceptance, both which confirm the legitimacy of the union, that both man and woman wear yellow. During the Negotiation Process it is determined if this couple will be marrying into the Godgrim family or one of the Godgrim is marrying into another family. There are two types of Godgrim marriages; by deed and by parol. By deed means that to prevent family shame, if it is found that one of its own have enter pre-marital intimacies and these have become undeniable through pregnancy - the two who have committed the situation are quickly and quietly married so long as both are of appropriate caste. If the woman is not Godgrim and not of caste - the family will deny the union completely and her offspring is her problem. If the woman is not Godgrim and born of one of the Households - the family will commit marriage by deed and three witnesses from either family can legally bind the pair at City Hall without their consent. By parol means it is a marriage that the family has planned and supports. It should be noted that the Godgrim House has slightly varied rulings on inheritance when it comes to those married in their house: If the wife happens to predecease the husband and there are no children of the marriage, the husband shall receive only one-fourth part of the wife's portion for himself, and the remainder thereof shall be given to the beneficiaries named in the wife's will or, if she be intestate, to the next of her kin. If the husband predeceases the wife, and there are no children of the marriage, then all the wife's portion shall revert to her, and so much of her husband's estate as shall be equal to a fourth part of his portion shall also inure to her as her own, and the remainder of his estate shall revert either to his beneficiaries or, if he be intestate, to his next of kin. If the husband predecease the wife and there are children of the marriage, the wife being their mother, she shall control her marriage portion and all her husband's property. It is custom that the Godgrim court before negotiations are made and met, instead the man wooing his would-be wife with excessive poetry and minstreling, showing his prowess and ability in music and rhyme or his wealth in hiring only the best to woo his interest. It is not unheard of that a man send another man to woo a woman in his name and this has, in history, caused interesting, entertaining and quite tragic tales of a woman falling in love with her wooer and not the woo-buyer. During courtship the man visits often with the woman's father, as does his own father, wooing the father with financial viability and prosperity. Should there be little want in the daughter, such as lack of beauty, dowry or not being first-born, it is common instead that the woman's father would in turn woo a man's father in search of a suitable match for her. During these courtships between fathers is where the negotiations are made and met, deciding factors being family history, viability in offspring, reputation, dowry and political favors. It is not uncommon to promise future support in things as the heavier factor in these proceedings. When these negotiations are made, the Betrothal Year begins and in this time the wooing continues as if a peacock doing his dance for the man demonstrates his wealth or his skills by continuing to charm the woman with wooing. Meanwhile for the woman she presents herself in all the glory of her own ability in skill or wealth by dressing the part of the peacock's interest meaning she is only ever in his presence in absolute finery whether sewn of her own hand or those of only the most skilled. Where the Kandavan are lavish in jewels and cloth, the Godgrim are lavish with precious metals and are infamously known for decorating themselves from head to toe in such fine metals as gold, silver, and copper.

• SYMBOL: To signify the marriage the Godgrim couple are presented to the Godgrim family at a very lavish feast whereupon the finest wines, teas and liquors are poured with a rule of never an empty cup until the couple have departed to their new bed. During these festivities it is expected that the couple is in absolutely the finest of adornments that have never been worn, never been seen before and will never be worn again. Their marital garb, once removed before their consummation, is then displayed in their house within a glass encasement and is always judged and compared, so being careful to pick only the best and most lasting trends is usually the wise course. It is custom that the couple are greeted by the family each as if born anew to the family, their brows kissed and each individual giving them a blessing towards their futures. A game of it is sometimes made where riddles of good-fortune are given and the very best are never solved. Songs of the couple are often sung during the festivities and poetry given as gift. As a token, the man and woman receive a gift from each other's parents in the fashion of a ring that is worn. This is not a signifier of being married, only is just a gift and the gift is a symbol of what the spouse's parents think of you - for better or for worse. Meanwhile, to signify they are married, it is custom to show the seriousness of wealth and station within Godgrim by wearing a bracelet of gold woven so thread-fine as to be a cloth to demonstrate their marital status, always worn on their right wrist, the underside of which is tattooed with the symbol of House Godgrim.

• • Marwa -

    • CEREMONY:  Once Acceptance has been sent from City Hall or once the Contracts are signed at City Hall - the marriage is in effect for the upper-caste Dorwinion. It is common that during signings or the reading of the Acceptance, both which confirm the legitimacy of the union, that both man and woman wear yellow. During the Negotiation Process it is determined if this couple will be marrying into the Marwa or that the man or woman is marrying out of the Marwa into another suitable Household. There are various traditions towards the Negotiating Process which vary by the situation.

      • To begin negotiations a woman's father can send invitation to a properly qualified man to offer his daughter to him, entrusting her to him, with the purpose of a joint marriage. This is typically done for daughters who may not be as readily desired like first-born daughters or daughters of substantial dowry who are more desirable.

      • To begin negotiations a man's father can send the gift of a cow or bull to a properly qualified woman's father to make note that his son is of age, worth, and can offer stability and prosperity. This is typically done by sons who many not be as readily sought match for they themselves are not first-born or lack promising qualities in offspring. Those young men truly seeking to impress will present a captured wild kine.

      • To begin negotiations a woman might send an unbloomed water lily bud to the mother of the man suggesting her want and her seeking of approval to which the mother, if accepted, would have the father seek out the woman's father and begin negotiations should he too find the union acceptable. This is generally the way it is done if a woman feels this specific man possesses desirable qualities for offspring such as strength, wit, beauty, etc.

      • To begin negotiations a man might send a garland of lilies to the mother of a woman suggesting his want of seeking approval towards courting said woman in which, should it be an acceptable match, the mother would approach the woman's father to whom would be sent to speak with the man's father about negotiations towards a union.

      • To begin negotiations a man might send lavish gifts and well-wishing to a woman's family to impress upon them his good intentions towards the woman. If approved, the woman's father will seek out the father of the man to begin negotiating a potential union. This type of approach usually speaks to the fact that the man has not yet spoken with his own family and may not have their favor in this so in turn, it is typical that the woman's family would, if truly seeing benefit in the union, in turn send lavish gifts to the man's family to persuade them as well.

• • • After negotiations are made and met, courting is in effect and the chaperones are typically the woman's father. While courting it is custom that the man visits the woman's home whereupon he brings with every visit a bottle of wine that he shares with her father. It is common during these visits that it is more about the father and man getting to know one another than it is the couple. After the father has deemed courting sufficient, and in this his approval for the man, then the pair may continue with their year of Promise. During this year of Promise it is tradition that neither man or woman speak to one another with superstitions that hearing one another's voice is welcoming trouble to the would-be marriage. It is custom during this year that the woman get to know the man's mother and female kin and in that learn of the man's likes and dislikes from those who know him best. After the year of Promise and with the man's mother's approval, the marriage contracts may be signed and gone forward with. Once the Acceptance is read or the Contracts signed at City Hall the Marwa celebrate the union in much more colorful and celebratory exploits than even the lavish Kandavan. The feasts of the Marwa are like no other, welcoming the exotic and the rich-tasting and spiced foods of the world to delight the family with. While a great feast, it is still a rather private endeavor had by the Marwa and is otherwise closed to outsiders which is a typical fashion for all the other Households. It is customary during the feast that the Marwa couple be bound together by a scarf and walk as such around a ceremonial brazier fire while the Marwa parents throw dried spice leaves into the flames to welcome good fortune to the new couple.

    • SYMBOL:  To signify the marriage a Marwa couple is bound together with a long ceremonial scarf woven by the finest Marwa weavers and only started upon the first night of the Betrothal and ever then only woven and sewn in the light of the full moon. It is customary that after being married, the woman wears the scarf at all times and each day sews a single bell upon the scarf. It is commonly dyed in rich, vibrant colors. The bells, while metal, are typically of a simple and modest nature being iron, tin, copper, pewter, or bronze. It is custom that both man and woman dip their finger and thumb tips to the first knuckle in a special dye which keeps their skin golden-looking at all times - this is done usually every other day and will be a consistent pursuit so long as they are married. Should their spouse die, it is tradition to add red to the dye, signifying their loss but continued oath. It is very rare that Marwa remarry.

• Amrun -

• • CEREMONY:  Once Acceptance has been sent from City Hall or once the Contracts are signed at City Hall - the marriage is in effect for upper-caste Dorwinion. It is common that during signings or the reading of the Acceptance, both which confirm the legitimacy of the union, that both man and woman wear yellow. During the Negotiation Process it is determined if this couple will be marrying into the Amrun or whether one of their own is marrying into another Household. If marrying into the Amrun, there are traditions to uphold far different than other cultures. Before negotiations can even be made, a Matchmaker is met to determine whether or not the union would be prosperous beneath the Stars and within Fortune's realm. Once the Matchmaker deems the union acceptable, and still before negotiations are settled, the man will show his devotion by sending the woman sugar, tea leaves, and a fresh sheep pastern on three separate occasions by a courier and never himself. This shows unto the woman that the man wishes her harmony, the ever-flowing and unbeatable nature of water, and prosperity. If these are accepted then it is said the woman approves and negotiations may be approached. Once accepted, it is tradition that the man then brings to her family a bottle of milk liquor and a block of sugar which is the signifier that his family has accepted and finalized the negotiations. Courting may now commence. During the courting it is custom that the man delivers a bottle of wine to the woman's home once a month and been accepted each time, when this has been done the Betrothal Year may begin. It is tradition that during this time, no matter the distance, that the woman ride to the mother (or next in line of womenfolk relatives) of the man's home and deliver unto her on three separate occasions something of her ability often sewing works, cheeses, wines, etc. It is important that these be acceptable and show the woman's ability and respect to the man's kin elsewise if they are rejected, the marriage is rejected. After all is accepted and the year is up and the Acceptance has been received or the Contracts signed in City Hall it is custom that a feast of an entire cooked sheep, tea leaves and wine are served to the pair. The consummation of the sheep speaks of harmony, the tea leaves of the power of water to shape the world in its image, and wine for prosperity.

  • SYMBOL: To signify the marriage an Amrun couple are each given a pair of swords and a single shield to show the one heart in two bodies by the Amrun. To identify themselves as married it is customary that the couple ever-after wears a white robe instead of a cloak, coat, etc. It is also quite common in tradition that the married couple have an inked blessing tattooed into their upper cheeks, just beneath either eye.

• Calaer -

• • CEREMONY:  Once Acceptance has been sent from City Hall or once the Contracts are signed at City Hall - the marriage is in effect for the upper-caste Dorwinion. It is common that during signings or the reading of the Acceptance, both which confirm the legitimacy of the union, that both man and woman wear blue. During the Negotiation Process it is determined if this couple will be marrying into the Calaer or if the Calaer are marrying one of their own into another Household. If marrying into the Calaer, and the other is of appropriate caste, the Calaer will have a feast. Due to the Calaer's austere lifestyle and upper-caste station the Calaer will host a simple, modest feast for the married couple. Games, poetry and song are not of the Calaer's austere persuasions so instead, the typical entertainment of the Calaer is to dance. Dancing is an artform for the Calaer and is of a battling style, lots of percussion of feet and clapping and feats using scarves and blades. Seduction arts or anything remotely sensual in dance-form is forbidden and considered highly inappropriate to the Calaer.

  • SYMBOL: To signify the marriage, a Calaer oppose one another in dance that is not permitted to be practiced or prepared ahead of time and should their dance flow into one, this is seen as an auspicious sign of good luck while if they struggle it is seen as a sign of strong spirits colliding and is not a bad sign, but suggests the pair will battle often until harmony can be met between them. The latter is very common in couples who marry at the choosing of their family and haven't accepted the union within their hearts yet. It is common, once married, Calaer wear a battle-scarf upon their hips which is a scarf weighted with wood, bone, ivory or metal which can do painful damage if used correctly.

• Rohirrim

• • CEREMONY: Once Acceptance has been sent from City Hall or once the Contracts are signed at City Hall - the marriage is in effect for the common-born and common-caste Rohirrim as well as the upper-caste. For the common, there is no procession or reception. For the nobility, there is a grand procession upon the family's horses through town and a private feast. It is tradition, no matter the caste, that the would-be husband and his family approach the family of the would-be wife as one and offer proposal. Once this proposal is accepted there is a small feast between the fathers and the contract is considered verbally final and legally binding to the King. The courtship and Betrothal traditions greatly vary by families but it is the norm to continue having a chaperone, showing public decorum and respect in terms of physical contact and lack thereof, and gift-giving between fathers and mothers of the couple. The actual ceremony where the Acceptance is read or the contracts signed is the most important aspect of a Rohirrim union. The merriment of a Rohirrim union will typically last three days and nights for the common-born while exceeding a week for nobility. During this merrymaking it is the first time in which, publicly, the two families are presented to the world as one. The first night is a feast whereupon all the guests will walk the couple to their bed as ideally the feast is held in their new home or the home of the woman's parents and family. For the common-caste it is custom for every guest to carry a candle and lead the couple to their bed and sing loud, merry songs whilst the couple enjoy their privacy therein beyond a closed door. Whereas, for the nobility, this is done by horse procession from the woman's family's home where the feast is had to the couple's new home - preferably through town to also show off the horses to which is a customary gift from the man's father to the couple. For the common to emulate this is considered disrespectful of the King. For the noble couple to not have a new house to make their own - it is considered very bad luck for the marriage.

  • SYMBOL: To signify the marriage a Rohirrim couple are led to their marital bed by family present at their merrymaking ceremony. This is a central difference to a marriage that is not sanctioned by law or family for if the family is not present to guide the way to their marriage, it is deemed an unsuitable match or implied to be a secret, extra-marital coupling and therefore not legally supported. It is custom that during a common-caste marriage feast that the mother of the woman gift something to the man and the mother of the man gift something to the woman while the fathers each gift something to the couple. For nobility, this is much the same though it is custom that woman receive a bolt of fine cloth to sew the dress of their first-born while the man receives a saddle and the couple as one receive at least one horse from each father.  The common-born Rohirrim does not have a token to wear to demonstrate their marital status but nobility does - women will wear a crown-like hairpiece that bears the crest of their family while men will adorn their sword belt with an elaborate buckle bearing their family crest. If you're known by the community to be unmarried and wear such things you're likely to get ridiculed.

• VOWS

• Vows vary by region and generally are shared with the couple at their union by the Litigant or legal figure officiating said union.

• INHERITANCE:

• Inheritance varies between nations, regions, races and cultures. The standing commonality is that men inherit and it goes first born, second born, etc.

• When children are not present but a marriage is present, if the wife of the husband has not been established as his legal inheritor through City Hall - his belongings go to the man's family.

• When children are not present but a marriage is present, if the husband of the wife has not been established as her legal inheritor through City Hall - her belongings go to the woman's family.

• When children are present within a marriage, if either party is not established as the legal inheritor through City Hall, inheritance falls directly to the firstborn son, or daughter if no son is present, even if wife or husband of the deceased is present and accounted for. Children are automatically the inheritor. This does not include illegitimate or base-born offspring.

• When no children or marriage is present and no inheritor established the belongings of the deceased go to their next of blood-kin.

• If a License is present but no children and no marriage or established inheritor is present, the License is revoked and all finances and debt returned to the Artisan Union.

• If a License is present with a marriage but no children and the deceased did not designate their spouse as legal inheritor through City Hall, their Apprentice has first choice in buying out the License. In the present of no Apprentice and the spouse does not have a conflicting License present, they can buy out the License. This buy-out fee depends on the License and the annual revenue of the shop. It is common that the buy-out covers any debts still yet owed to the Artisan Union.

• If a License is present with a marriage but no children and the deceased did not designate their spouse as legal inheritor through City Hall, their Apprentice has first choice in buying out the License. In the present of no Apprentice and the spouse has a License their own they can in no way profit or handle the doings and goings on of their deceased spouse's License period. Two things can happen here:

• The Artisan Union will buy out the License and if the living spouse is the legal inheritor, if they are not, and no child is present, the buy-out coin will be sent to the deceased spouse's blood-kin.This buy-out fee depends on the License and the annual revenue of the shop. It is common that the buy-out covers any debts still yet owed to the Artisan Union.

• The spouse can transfer the License to an employee of the shop in question, this transfer is not free and the cost of it will be determined by the License, annual revenue and any debts in place. The transfer will give the spouse a small profit fee and the employee being transferred the License is subject to a fee for said transfer. With the transfer goes any present debts yet unfulfilled. It is standard procedure that a transfer is offered to the highest rank of employees in any given Shop and if they decline, then down through the ranks.

• If there is no spouse and no official Apprentice then the License and Shop therein are auctioned off by the Artisan Union.

• If there is a spouse and no official Apprentice or employees then the License and Shop therein are auctioned off by the Artisan Union and a buy-out fee can be given to the spouse.

• If there is no spouse and no official Apprentice but there are employees, they can petition to buy-out the License and Shop therein following the protocol of rank first or it can be auctioned off between the employees present within the Shop at the time.

• If no one employee wants to transfer the License unto their own use then the License and Shop therein are auctioned off by the Artisan Union.

• ADULTERY:

• The committing of adultery has multiple consequences to both parties involved: societal issues from loss of good reputation to the gaining of bad reputation, potential loss in business deals, increase in costs to the involved parties in terms of business deals, fines from City Hall for indecency and shame. To some cultures such shame is devastating to one's person and family. Extra-marital affairs can cost a person many things should it become public knowledge to their indiscretions. This too goes hand in hand with pre-marital affairs.

   

• ILLEGITIMATE CHILDREN:

• Illegitimate children, also known as base-born, are born of two individuals not married to each other themselves. Base-born children are not automatically legal inheritors of either parent and they are completely beholden to the mother's finances and therein her families. Due to the weight of this, this is the most important and deterring fact towards risking unwanted children. Base-born offspring put considerable weight upon the finances of any woman and her family as there will be zero support legally expected from the man or his family. The accepting of base-born children is exceedingly rare (except perhaps among the Gypsies for whom kinship is a stronger tie than legal standing) and usually wind up in orphanages due to them being costly not in just support but too in social standing for the mother of the base-born child.

   

• DIVORCE:

• Divorce does not exist in Middle-Earth. There is nothing legally stopping a man or woman from moving out of the home of their spouse and living on their own finances or those of their familiess for a variety of reasons: abuse, adultery, and producing of illegitimate offspring. The only time in which a marriage contract can be found null and void is in the instance of fraud where either party already married to another, is in fact not who they claim to be, or has given false testimony towards their worth, their family, etc. in terms to gain the marriage in false pretenses. This situation requires City Hall to investigate and without substantial proof (or perhaps substantial incentive to find that proof) on either end may not see the marriage deemed null and void.

   

• SPOUSAL DEATH:

• Do note on declaring of a spouse dead without a body: A Declaration of Death must be filed at City Hall no less than 36 in-game months since the last time you've seen your spouse in game and said Declaration will sit another 12 in-game months in wait to be argued by the potentially undeceased. After that time they are deemed legally dead and you may continue your path. Should they ever be proven to not be dead and can prove they are not in fact dead, there may be great issue if you have remarried or inherited. It is important to be without doubt in declaring of another dead.

  
  

• NOTE FOR PLAYERS:

• It is an understood part of the proper retirement of a character that things are properly handled so that other players of spouses or business associates can continue on. If you are planning on retiring, you should discuss with staff if your PC is married so things can be properly seen to. Simply retiring without speaking to staff when you have outstanding obligations will reflect poorly and might lead to the deduction of RPP (Roleplay Points.)